Movie Review: The Green Hornet

The Green HornetUnsurprisingly, the main problem with the moronic 3D comedy The Green Hornet is an actor named Seth Rogen, who co-wrote the script, in the lead. Rogen represents Hollywood’s dominant type: like Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, and a herd of other nondescript comedians and actors, he plays characters that are proud to be stupid, crude, and vacant. Rogen, as blank as blank gets, is the anti-Cary Grant. As the Green Hornet, a competent comic book character, Rogen sinks the movie. Wasting talented actors such as Tom Wilkinson (Batman Begins), The Green Hornet mocks Batman Begins, leaving Rogen’s worthless newspaper heir even more empty after his father dies, when he decides on a whim to become the Green Hornet. Mind you, he is not moved by a sense of justice, and in fact he evades police without explanation and has no respect for law, behaving like a libertarian throughout the movie, acting randomly without regard to any consistent values, motives, or ideas. He’s a zero who likes to “go crazy” as he puts it, flipping the middle finger to cops, abusing his position of authority to intimidate employees and making jokes about venereal disease. His sidekick, Kato (Jay Chou), is the star of this show, giving Hollywood another chance to caricature the white male with another racist stereotype playing the white male as the clown. The only thing worth watching in this slow-paced slog is a pre-government bailout Chrysler tricked with Kato’s clever gadgets, a split screen sequence, and Kato, pretty much in that order. Cameron Diaz appears as a secretary (as in all these modern jokey comedies, women are objectified props), Christoph Waltz plays a Russian mobster, and Edward James Olmos gets a few lines. This Green Hornet amounts to a lousy Batman Begins knockoff, with lines such as “me likey”, and more of the same trash piling up in movie theaters. Do yourself a favor and see the best movie of 2010, The King’s Speech, instead.

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