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What makes a man undateable? This is the question that drives a silly, ridiculous book by two women. Most of the material in Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex is skimpy, stupid or beside the point and some of it’s downright offensive to all men. But I have to admit that this photo-laden trade paperback is hilarious in spots and fun to flip through as the summer dating season approaches. For authors Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle, transgressions include being “overly cologned”, having “tighty whities” (which they dub “just plain creepy” without explanation) and wearing what they call “stupid t-shirts” with emblazoned messages such as “Addicted to Porn”, “FBI (Female Body Inspector)” and “I Am the Big Dog Dad.” The photos of men behaving badly are often funnier than the copy, which is often lame, cliched or too taste-specific. Still, some of this stuff is a hoot. For example, the ladies consider the multicolored, swirly “Cosby sweaters” a toxic asset: “don one of the woollen tragedies and it’s a lock no woman will come near your pudding pop.” In an entry on What Not to Be dubbed “Bitter Boy,” next to an image of a surly looking man with his arms crossed at the chest, they write: “Bitter Boy isn’t so much a look as it is a mind-set. First off, let’s just get this out of the way: Bitter Boy has personally never done anything wrong. Ever. It’s the rest of us who are f***ing everything up and making his life a living hell.” Other no-no’s include the Mandanna, air guitar, Soprano-speak, jogging in place at the stoplight and, of course, the mullet (though this doesn’t appear to apply to lesbians). The funniest bits pertain to men’s personal appearance choices. And you thought only men judge the opposite sex by their looks. (Villard, $15, 192 pages).

Posted in Books, Random House